Avoidance is Prolonged Suffering Disguised as Safety: How I Unfroze My Life and Business
Hey, my fellow ADHD biz witches! This one’s for you.
We’ve all been there, haven’t we? That nagging feeling of avoidance creeping in, disguised as busyness. You’ve got the drive, the vision, and the hustle—but when it comes down to that one thing you really need to do, you freeze. The pit in your stomach forms, your thoughts start racing, and suddenly, you’re too overwhelmed to move. So, you fill your time with busywork, sweeping the real task under the rug and then beating yourself up for avoiding it.
Let me tell you, I’ve been there too—and I’m about to share a story I’ve never told publicly before. One that took me from being stuck in a cycle of fear and avoidance to finding true expansion and flow in both my personal and business life.
And I promise you, this will hit close to home if you’re an ambitious woman entrepreneur feeling stuck.
How Avoidance Ruled My Life (and Business)
Here’s the deal: avoidance happens when we don’t have the capacity for the expansion that “doing the thing” will bring. So instead, we cling to the suffocating familiar—the busy treadmill of keeping ourselves so full of nothing that we avoid everything.
For me, that “thing” was renewing my driver’s license. Sounds simple, right? Well, I didn’t renew it for SEVEN YEARS. I was stuck—stuck in fear, stuck in ancestral trauma, alcoholism, overworking, and even a codependent relationship with my business. I convinced myself it was fine. But deep down, I was avoiding the expansion that renewal represented—expansion into the life I craved: a work-life balance, exotic vacations, and a deeply fulfilling, soul-level relationship.
The truth is, that thing you’re avoiding, that dream you desperately want but can’t seem to reach? It’s being blocked by your inability to expand into high-sensation experiences—joy, love, success, pleasure, and the hardest of all… shame.
If you can’t hold space for these sensations, they will rule your life, and you’ll chalk it up to fate. But here’s what I learned: I could hold it. I could let those high-sensation experiences move through me, instead of move me. And that’s when I finally got unstuck.
The Day I Unfroze Myself (and How You Can Too)
The day I marched to the DMV with a copy of my birth certificate to finally renew my driver’s license felt like I was walking on air. I was light, clear, grounded—finally neutral to those high-sensation experiences. Only a couple of months later, I had my first cervical orgasm, something I never thought was possible. Why? Because I was no longer avoiding my own expansion. I wasn’t pretending everything was fine when it wasn’t. I was showing up as my full self.
Incongruence is the death of pleasure and authenticity. It’s where your dreams get buried because you’re too scared to sit with the reality of who you are and where you are.
But here’s the kicker: I didn’t heal my way to getting unstuck. I brought all those fragmented pieces of myself into the present and made them neutral. I took back the power that I had unknowingly handed over to everything and everyone else.
So next time you find yourself avoiding something—whether in life or in your business—ask yourself, “What does this feel like in my body?” Stop telling stories in your head and start listening to your body’s truth.
Ready to Conquer Your Avoidance and Step into Your Full Power?
If this hits home for you, it’s time to dive deep into your own avoidance patterns. As an online business coach and biz launch bestie, I specialize in helping women entrepreneurs break free from these patterns, so you can build a life and business that lights you up—without all the baggage that’s been holding you back.
I’ve got a few spots opening up for 1:1 mentorship, and I’d love to help you get unstuck, expand into your full potential, and live a life that feels like a screaming O! Book your free discovery call HERE, and let’s chat about how we can work together to get you moving forward, not just in your business, but in your whole life.
Your next level is waiting.
In love,
Colleen xo
